Monday, July 1, 2013

It's Not Always Easy

It has been a challenging year for "family" in our house.  One of Brian's brothers is making some decisions it is very difficult for me to support.  We want everyone to be happy - but the thing is, he gives "lip service" to being happy, but doesn't seem like himself.

Brian's grandparents have moved to Assisted Living and the family has spent the last 8 months selling the business antiques and boxing up the family antiques.  Brian and I don't really want or need anything, but that is often seen as rude - so we have tried to participate, but we love people, not things - so it has been a challenge.

Everything feels super strained to me.  I am struggling with family decisions about living arrangements, what people are supporting or not supporting, and most of all, a level of unrest with those not in our home.  It's funny, you would think all of this undercurrent would strain Brian and I as well, but we feel closer than normal, to me.  It is difficult - while I am enjoying having my "little family" home together for the summer, preparing to celebrate Brian's completion of grad school in August and mine in March I am really struggling with the outside influences on our lives.

As many (most) people know my first marriage was very difficult and painful.  By the time that we had reached the 4 year mark, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.  Brian and I will celebrate four years of marriage in a little more than 2 months.  These have been the best, easiest, happiest, most loved four years of my life.  Even with our current struggle and my dissatisfaction with extended family I am so happy that we are together; I just wish that there was some acknowledgement of bad decisions elsewhere.

As announced a few weeks ago during a church service - love is blind and marriage is an eye opener.

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